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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004218">The near certainty of love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyanneg/pseuds/hollyanneg'>hollyanneg</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr prompts [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Sharing a Bed, post trk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:15:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyanneg/pseuds/hollyanneg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had to be the coldest night of the year. Adam wasn’t sure, but he’d never been more frozen in his tiny apartment, even fully clothed, under his blanket, with the radiator on.</p>
<p>For the prompt “I can’t sleep. Can I stay here?”/“I can’t let you sleep on the floor."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr prompts [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>204</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The near certainty of love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For Anon on Tumblr :)</p>
<p>So... imagine they kissed on Ronan’s birthday but then didn’t talk about it after.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had to be the coldest night of the year. Adam wasn’t sure, but he’d never been more frozen in his tiny apartment, even fully clothed, under his blanket, with the radiator on. The blanket was too thin and the radiator was too weak. He could see his breath in the air. <em>Inside.</em></p>
<p><em>We have to be in single digits tonight,</em> he thought. <em>I have never been this cold in my life.</em></p>
<p>That was probably not true—the trailer had never been particularly warm, nor had his clothes. He was also aware that single digits rarely happened in Virginia, but he was giving into melodrama for once, letting himself have a pity-party, since he couldn’t sleep for the cold.</p>
<p>Around midnight, there was a knock on his door. It could only be one person. Adam was very, very reluctant to get up. He’d be even colder. But he did, opening his door just a crack and saying, “Come in as fast as you can, okay?”</p>
<p>Ronan did. He stood by the door brushing snow off his leather jacket, kicking it off his boots.</p>
<p>“It’s snowing?” Adam asked. He hadn’t known—it must’ve started after he got home from work.</p>
<p>Ronan just grunted in reply.</p>
<p>Adam got back into bed, saying, “Why did you go out on a night like this?”</p>
<p>“I can’t sleep.” Ronan sounded uncharacteristically young and sad. “Can I stay here?”</p>
<p>Adam couldn’t really understand why Ronan slept better on Adam’s cold, hard floor than in his own comfy bed. But there was no question by now. “Of course.”</p>
<p>“I’m soaked,” Ronan noted, obviously already happier than he’d been a moment ago.</p>
<p>“Borrow some sweats,” Adam said, pointing to his bottom dresser drawer. Ronan did. Since his back was turned, Adam shamelessly watched him undress, admiring his tattoo and his narrow waist and his long legs and... everything, really.</p>
<p>His attraction to Ronan was out of control, threatening to drown him—it had been ever since they’d kissed on Ronan’s birthday. He knew after that Ronan wanted him to say something, to take the next step, but Adam hadn’t been able to do it so quickly. He’d needed time to think carefully about everything. Ronan only did things at 0% or 100%. A romantic relationship would have to be 100%. Adam would’ve been brave enough for that, he thought, if only everything with the demon and Gansey’s death hadn’t happened right afterwards. He hadn’t been able to look at Ronan for a while after his almost-unmaking. It was so hard to unsee that. Even harder to forget his own part of it, his hands around Ronan’s neck. Ronan could’ve died, and it would’ve been his fault.</p>
<p>But he’d mostly worked through those feelings now, six weeks later. They were back to normal—Ronan’s longing looks and Adam’s overwhelming desire. He never did anything about it, even though he wanted to, even though he knew he should.</p>
<p>He was telling himself that again for the 100<sup>th</sup> time, <em>you have to deal with this,</em> as Ronan changed clothes. But he let it go when Ronan came over and settled on the floor beside Adam’s bed. He wasn’t thinking about love or lust, just about how cold it was, when he said, “It’s freezing, Ronan. I can’t let you sleep on the floor. Here, get in bed with me.” He scooted over and held up the blanket, like, <em>here you go</em>.</p>
<p>Ronan stared at him for what felt like 30 seconds at least.</p>
<p>“Come on, Lynch, hurry up. I’m letting all the warmth out of the bed,” Adam said.</p>
<p>Ronan was wide-eyed—again Adam was reminded of how young he really was under all his posturing. But he complied. He lay down next to Adam, and Adam dropped the blanket. For a minute, Ronan held himself stiff. “Relax, Jesus,” Adam said.</p>
<p>“This is fucking weird,” Ronan said solemnly.</p>
<p>“Is it? Why? You’ve slept here a million times.”</p>
<p>“Not <em>in the bed!”</em></p>
<p>Obvious answer. Adam knew it was significant just from how alert he himself was, how wide-awake despite his fatigue, how stupidly turned-on he was even though they weren’t touching.</p>
<p>He thought for a moment before he said carefully, “We’ll both be more comfortable this way.”</p>
<p>Ronan huffed out a little laugh. He rolled over, back to Adam. “Night, Parrish.”</p>
<p>Neither of them actually went to sleep. Ronan must’ve assumed Adam had, because after a half an hour or so, he rolled over again and looked surprised to be met with open eyes. “Were you watching me sleep like a creep, Parrish?”</p>
<p>“You weren’t sleeping,” Adam said.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Ronan commented. Like that was an answer in and of itself.</p>
<p>Adam had been watching Ronan’s shoulder blades and listening to him breathe and feeling the body heat radiating off him. He’d been thinking, again, <em>I have to do something</em>.</p>
<p>But he wasn’t thinking too hard about it when he reached out and touched Ronan’s cheek and said his name. Ronan’s eyes fluttered closed. “It’s nice to have you here,” Adam said.</p>
<p>Ronan pulled away. He looked like he was thinking about getting out of bed, maybe leaving altogether.</p>
<p>“Wait,” said Adam. “We need to—”</p>
<p>“No,” Ronan said harshly. “No. We don’t need to talk.”</p>
<p>Adam reached out and grabbed Ronan’s wrist so he wouldn’t run away. “We do.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, but he tried to make himself vulnerable, like Ronan already was, already had been for months. “I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss. Having you close like this makes me think about it even more.”</p>
<p>“What, you want another, Parrish?” His tone was lightly sarcastic, but he was trembling a bit, and he wouldn’t look at Adam.</p>
<p>“I want lots more,” Adam said honestly.</p>
<p>Ronan glanced at him and then away again. “And?”</p>
<p>Adam took a second with that. <em>And what?</em> What else? He breathed in deeply and said, “And anything else you’ll give me.”</p>
<p>Ronan wrinkle his nose with distaste. “Sex, then?”</p>
<p>“Well yeah,” Adam said before he could think about it. Ronan smirked. “But I didn’t mean just physical stuff.”</p>
<p>Ronan was still tense and poised to run. “We kissed,” he said, low, quiet. “And then you just pretended like it never happened.”</p>
<p>Adam wasn’t great at apologizing, but he was still trying to tread carefully. He didn’t want to lose this friendship—not now, not ever—and he didn’t want to lose the possibility of something more. “I should have said something,” he acknowledged. “I realize it probably hurt.”</p>
<p>Ronan snorted, staring at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“There was just so much going on right after your birthday, and I couldn’t handle it all. I had to put something off for later. But now I wish I hadn’t chosen to put <em>you</em> off. I wonder if I ruined everything.”</p>
<p>Now Ronan sighed and some of his tension seemed to ebb. “Just tell me <em>exactly</em> what you want, Parrish. Please.” He was sad again, as if he thought he wouldn’t like the answer.</p>
<p>“I wanna be your boyfriend,” said Adam. If that wasn’t what Ronan wanted to hear...</p>
<p>Ronan finally rolled a bit closer and looked him in the eye. “I’ve wanted that for a long time,” he said, voice gravely and shy.</p>
<p>“Then it doesn’t have to keep being complicated.” Adam let himself touch Ronan’s face again. “Kiss me.”</p>
<p>Ronan rolled on top of him so fast it took Adam by surprise and smashed their mouths together. The kiss was almost frantic. Adam turned his head just a little so he could say, “We’re not in a hurry, are we? We have all the time in the world.”</p>
<p>“This is for the past,” Ronan said, kissing him again with the same intensity, like he could never get enough. Adam let himself sink into it. It had been so long since anyone had kissed him, and it had never been like this. There had never been the possibility—the near certainty—of love.</p>
<p>Time ceased to have any meaning for a while, because there was nothing in the world except Ronan’s body on his, his arms around Ronan’s waist, their mouths and tongues entangled, Ronan’s hand in Adam’s hair.</p>
<p>Eventually, though, Adam made the mistake of looking at the clock. Almost 2 a.m. “Shit,” he said. “I have an early shift. I need to sleep.”</p>
<p>Ronan rolled off him, and Adam groaned. “Ugh, you were so warm. Now I’m gonna be cold again.”</p>
<p>“Roll over,” said Ronan.</p>
<p>Ronan pressed his chest against Adam’s back, wrapped an arm around him, and kept him warm for the rest of the night.</p>
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